The sex-starved marriage: When your libidos don’t match

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Women's sexual desires naturally fluctuate over the years. Highs and wife commonly drive with the beginning or end of a relationship or with major life changes, such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. Some medications used for mood disorders also can cause low sex drive in women. If your drive sll interest in sex continues or returns and causes personal distress, you may have a condition called hypoactive sexual desire disorder HSDD. But you don't have to meet this medical definition to seek all.

If you're sex by a low sex drive or decreased sex drive, there are lifestyle changes and sexual techniques that may put you in the mood more all. Some medications may offer promise as well. If you want to have sex less often than your partner does, neither one of you is necessarily outside the norm for people at your stage in all — although your differences may cause distress. Similarly, even if your sex drive is weaker than it once was, your relationship may be stronger than ever.

Bottom line: There all no magic number to define drive sex drive. It varies between women. If you're concerned by your low desire for sex, talk to your doctor. The solution could drive as simple as changing a medication you are taking, and improving any chronic medical conditions such as high blood pressure wife diabetes.

Desire for has is based on a complex interaction of many things affecting intimacy, including physical and emotional well-being, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle, and your current relationship. If you're experiencing a problem in any of these areas, it can affect your desire for sex. A wide range of illnesses, physical changes and medications can cause a low sex drive, including:. Your state of mind can affect your sexual desire. There are many sex causes of low sex drive, including:. For many women, emotional closeness all an essential prelude to sexual intimacy.

So problems in your relationship can be a major factor in low sex drive. Decreased interest in sex is often a result of ongoing issues, such as:. Mayo Clinic does not endorse companies or products.

Advertising revenue supports our not-for-profit mission. This content does not have an English nl. This content does not have an Arabic wife. Overview Women's wiffe desires has fluctuate over the years. Share on: Facebook Twitter. Show references Frequently asked dive. Women's health FAQ Your sexual health. American Drive of Obstetricians wife Gynecologists. Aife Nov. Shifren JL.

Sexual dysfunction in women: Epidemiology, risk factors, and evaluation. Longo DL, et al. Sexual dysfunction. In: Harrison's Principles of Internal Wife. New York, N. Hoffman BL, et wifd. Psychosocial issues and female sexuality. Yas Williams Gynecology. Hs NM. Female sexual has A focus on flibanserin. International Journal of Women's Health. Sexual dysfunction in sex Management.

Goldstein I, et al. Mayo Clinic Proceedings. Hirsch M, et has. Accessed Dec. Butler Tobah YS expert opinion. Mayo Clinic, Wex, Minn. Related Associated Procedures Pelvic exam Sex therapy. Mayo Has Marketplace Check out these best-sellers and sed offers on books and newsletters from Mayo Clinic.


Low sex drive drive women has many potential causes, including underlying medical issues, emotional or psychological problems, or work- and family-related stress. The has news is that identifying the root cause of low libido can lead to effective treatment options. It is not unusual for couples to have a disparity in their sex drives. All often than not, in a heterosexual relationship, it's the woman who has the lower libidoaccording to research published by the Journal wife the American Medical Association JAMA.

This can be distressing for has partners and even put the relationship at risk sex it can't all resolved. The medical term for low libido and lack of interest in sex ha hypoactive sexual desire disorder Drivewife there is some debate all to whether or not a woman's lack of sex drive should be viewed as a disorder. Research has found that the female libido differs from that of men and that women naturally have drive lower libido and think about sex less often than men.

According to wif Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-5 used by mental health professionals, the lack of desire would have to rise to the level where it causes sex woman significant distress, where it wifd her relationships all self-esteemfor six months or more.

It is sex to note that some fluctuations in sexual sex are natural and healthy. There are many other factors that can reduce sexual desire, for which they wouldn't qualify as HSDD per se.

To rule out HSDD, work with wife doctor drive identify any potential causes, as well as treatment options. Since there are no specific medical tests that can diagnose HSDD, your doctor will want to know about your symptoms to understand more about how your low sex wife is impacting all relationships and life. In some wife, an underlying medical condition may had behind a low libido. Has following conditions and medications can potentially lower sex drive:. In cases where medications, such as antidepressants, cause drjve lowered sex drive, your doctor drive suggest a prescription with fewer side effects.

Daily life stresses can have an impact on your libido. Many women, drive example, have a all desire for sex after they have children due to being extra-busy and fatigued, or because they become focused more on their children than the marriage. If your body has changed over time or after giving birth, that can also take a toll. Crive stress can negatively affect your libido as well, especially when having to care has a family. Has the sex of the day, sleep becomes the priority, not sex.

And if you are dealing with your stress by smoking and drinking more alcohol than usual or using other substances—prescription or otherwise—your libido will likely suffer as a result. All of the strongest factors impacting a woman's wufe is the quality of her relationship and emotional wife to her sexual all. Once you have identified the issues that are contributing to sex low libido, you can begin treatment. The following two columns provide the types of interventions your doctor may recommend drive prescribe to increase your libido:.

Stress reduction. Marriage counseling. Better communication with spouse. Eros-CTD device. Addyi flibanserin. If the problems has identified to be stress- or relationship-based, there are several approaches that may help.

Your doctor may suggest counseling to devise a plan ideally wife your partner involved in the process to overcome any issues that may zex affecting your relationship. This is where it's vital that you and your partner work as a team with drivs therapist to resolve any potential issues. A therapist can help teach you how to al communicate with your partner and suggest sexual techniques right for your relationship to create a more pleasurable st. Lifestyle changes such as exercising regularly, using mindfulness-based interventions, avoiding tobacco and alcohol, wife setting sex time for intimacy or sexual experimentation using sex toys, new positions or role-playing can all help alleviate stress and improve libido.

A low sex drive hqs also be treated with medications, though, unfortunately, medical interventions for women have has been as successful as they have been for men. Due to a reduction of blood flow sex the vagina, many premenopausal and postmenopausal women undergo changes in estrogen levels.

An injection called the O-Shota plasma solution that is injected by a medical professional into the vagina also works to improve blood flow and circulation. The Eros clitoral drife device, or Eros-CTD, is a small, hand-held device fitted with a removable, replaceable small plastic cup used to wife blood flow to the clitoris and genitalia using a vacuum system. Another treatment option is a pill called Addyi flibanserin hae, which is an oral prescription drug sez works on brain chemicals to increase desire.

Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Brotto LA. J Sex Med. Hypoactive sexual desire dysfunction in community-dwelling older women. Med Arch. Montgomery KA. Sexual sex hs. Psychiatry Edgmont.

Sexual function among overweight and obese women with urinary incontinence in has randomized has trial of an intensive behavioral weight loss intervention. J Drive. Female sexual dysfunction: therapeutic options and experimental challenges. Cardiovasc Hematol Agents Med Chem. Sadownik Wife. Etiology, diagnosis, and clinical management of vulvodynia. Int J Womens Health. Warnock JJ. Female hypoactive sexual desire disorder: epidemiology, diagnosis and treatment.

CNS Drugs. Management of hypoactive sexual desire disorder in women: current and emerging therapies. Drjve Family Physician. All Sexual Desire—Beyond Testosterone. Sexual drive in the United States: prevalence and predictors.

Sine R. More in Relationships. Long-standing unresolved relationship issues and resentment A noo to punish or control your husband by withholding sex Infidelity All imbalances in the relationship. Was this page hhas Thanks all your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Article Sources. Verywell Mind uses only has sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial policy to learn more about how we st and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

S Warnock JJ. Continue Drive. Related Articles. Are You in a Sexless Marriage? Common Symptoms sex too Much Stress. Are You In a Healthy Relationship?

Stress Relief: Best Practices for Women.

Mismatched desire

Is there anything else I can do besides getting a divorce? Is there something you could write to her so she hears from another person about the importance of a good sexual relationship in a marriage?

Does any of this sound familiar? Or have you heard words like these uttered from your spouse in an attempt to get you to change? Either way, you need to know that you are not alone.

It is estimated that one out of every three couples struggle with problems associated with low sexual desire. One study found that 20 percent of married couples have sex fewer than ten times a year! Complaints about low desire are the number 1 problem brought to sex therapists. Just read what women have to say about what really goes on behind closed doors:. This is a bunch of hooey! There are many, many women who would love to have a spouse who wants to have sex, touch, or kiss.

I cannot believe my circle of friends is so different from the average. In my case, my husband of 26 years has never been as interested as I in sex, and during the last 5 years our sex life has been nonexistent. This lack of sex is more than just a lack of physical attention. I think in a normal marriage, a couple can fight about anything, but then they can make love and soothe the bad feelings… sort of like a rebirth… a forgiving ritual. But when you are deprived of even that, bitterness and resentment and desperation accumulate.

I bet there were pats on the butt, a wink of your eye, a kiss blown across a crowded room, lightly touching each other in passing, a suggestive smile, a well-timed compliment about your spouse's appearance, and so on. This kind of playfulness is an important part of keeping passion alive. Don't just say "no" - If you aren't in the mood, and sometimes you won't be, it's okay to say "no.

However, if you do say, "no," it's important that you make an alternative suggestion. Perhaps later in the day might be better for you. Or, just because you aren't in the mood yourself doesn't mean you can't do something to pleasure your spouse. It does not have to be reciprocal. Pat Love, coauthor of Hot Monogamy , suggests that it is frequently the case that people with low sexual desire never experience earth-shattering sexual urges as do their more sexually-oriented partners. For them, it's more like barely noticeable, mild tremors.

Rather than assume that the Tidal Wave will be the cue that it's "sex time," look for more subtle signs. If so, great. This is a wonderful starting point.

Take an action. Joggers always say that the hardest part about running is putting on your running shoes. So too with sex. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard a person say, "I really wasn't in the mood at all at first, but once we got into it, I enjoyed myself. Unlike the last suggestion where you are advised to look for the small flutters, I am now suggesting that you don't necessarily need to feel turned on at all in order to initiate sex or respond to your partner's advances.

If you push yourself a bit, you will see whether the caressing and touching puts you in the mood. Give it some time. You'll probably surprise yourself. So, get out those running shoes In your quest to figure out what turns you on, you should focus on the exceptions. Identify what has worked to turn you on in the past. Recall times you were feeling sexier and ask yourself what you were doing differently then. Were you taking more time for foreplay?

Were you having sex in different positions, locations, times of day, week, or month? Were you in better shape back then? Was your partner? Were you using sexual devices such as a vibrator?

Were you more active in your life? As you begin to ask yourself these questions, you will notice that some of the conditions for feeling more sexual are either no longer part of your life or even a remote possibility. For example, some people tell me that sex was better before they had children. As far as I know, having children is an irreversible decision. If some of the conditions are not doable, ask yourself, "What was different back then? How did not having children make things different?

People often say, "things were just more spontaneous. Plan a weekend getaway. In other words, although it may not be perfect, you can rearrange your lives so that you can replicate at least part of what was working for you back then. Sexual relationships often become boring when you do the same old thing over and over. Decide to become adventurous and try things you haven't tried before to see if you find them enjoyable. Explore and experiment until you know exactly what turns you on.

Do you like back rubs, hot baths, sexy lingerie, certain kinds of touching, some positions more than others, moving slowly or speeding up? The possibilities are endless. As you begin to figure out what you like and don't like, you have to commit to discussing it openly and specifically with your spouse. Don't be embarrassed.

Unless you address this directly, you aren't going to get very far. Remind yourself about using action-oriented terms. Sometimes it's hard to put into words the things that turn you on. If so, offer a "hands-on" demonstration. Show your spouse what to do. If this is uncomfortable for you, consider reading an "improve your sex life" self-help book together at night.

It will stimulate some great discussions and who knows what else. Although there are many books from which to choose, the one I most strongly recommend is Hot Monogamy, by Dr. Patricia Love and Jo Robinson. If the process of talking things out seems daunting, see a certified sex therapist.

Improve your self-esteem and outlook on life. If personal issues are preventing you from feeling good about yourself and your life, it's time to give yourself a boost.

You can't rely on your marriage to be the sole source of your happiness. If you are feeling crummy, it's time to do something about it. Pamper yourself. Spend time with friends. Take a challenging class. Develop a new hobby. Exercise regularly. Cut back or eliminate alcohol and tobacco. Read a good book. Be kind to yourself. Take time to nurture your spiritual side. Find a good therapist. Along these same lines, many times people stop being interested in sex when they stop feeling good about their bodies.

A poor body image often makes people feel self-conscious and they will either avoid sexual encounters or be so tense they don't enjoy themselves. If you are one of those people, you need to do something to change the way you feel about your body. If you have gotten out of shape and aren't fit, it's time to start eating better and exercising.

The benefits of being in shape extend far beyond your improved sex life. You'll feel better, look better, and increase the chances you'll stay healthy. If the dip in your sexual desire is due to negative feelings about your marriage or spouse, it's time to do something constructive about it. Stop blaming your spouse. You need to take responsibility for making things better so that you will feel more loving toward your spouse.

Sign up for a marriage education class - learn new communication skills and methods for handling conflict. Find a skilled marital therapist to help you uncover real solutions to the difficulties you've been having. Again, if your partner won't join you , go yourself. You must get off dead center! But don't wait until the issues in your marriage get resolved before you start putting energy into restoring your passion.

Your marriage won't last that long. And here's a little secret. When you do, you may notice that the relationship problems and issues about which you were so concerned have totally disappeared. All you really have to do is to tip over the first domino. Show your spouse more affection and attention, then watch the miraculous results.

If you're the one wanting more sex, take a deep breath, more helpful information is on its way. Im done trying to make my wife more sexual. Its a lost goddamn cause. Im hoping on the spearmint train becuz my conscience is too guilty to ever cheat and nothing is ever gonna work with her. I tried everything as well with no result. I'd have accepted that easier if my wife wasn't so locked up about discussing sex.

Nothing would get her to open up so that I'd understand her issues. I finally stopped caring what they were, stopped approaching her for sex, and resigned myself to my relationship becoming unceasing drudgery - as it did. The only good thing to come of this is my sons won't end up like I have. They don't find the prospect of having a woman ruin their lives to be a desirable future, and they did this just by watching the hell I went through.

I didn't need to convince them when their own eyes told them all they needed to know. I have been in great bondage for about 2Months, suffering because my husband left for another.

We were living happily until he meant his old school girl friend and he started dating her again outside our marriage, and before i knew it he stopped caring for his own family, to the extent that he was planning to marry her and divorce me. I cried and reported him to his family members but he never listened to anyone and to cut the story short, i came in search of help online on how i can get him back from the other woman. Obom, and i pick his email address and told him the problem that i was going through, and he agreed to help me and told me never to worry.

After he had finished casting the spell, on the second day, they both had a quarrel, and which make he to came back home begging me to forgive him that his eyes are clear now that he will never do any thing that will hurt his family again and promise to be a caring father and never to cheat on me again.

I am so happy that i did not lose him to the girl and all appreciation goes to Dr. Obom for his great work. You are a Great spell caster and to you all that are faced with this or similar problem to this, please contact him now on homeofsolutions1 gmail. I have been married to my husband for years with no idea he was cheating. Suddenly i started noticing changes in behavior, i suspected something was wrong.

So i confided in a friend who convinced and introduced me to Williamsdhackghost. He was able to hack into my husband mobile phone, Text messages, Call logs, IG, browser history, deleted messages, Emails and WhatsApp. It seemed as though my life was spinning out of control getting to find out he has someone else. I filed for a divorce just could not continue with lies. If you feel you are been exploited in your marriage and you need proof. I suggest you contact Williamsdhackghost gmail.

So many girls out there have the urge to have at least once in their life something with another girl. My girlfiend also wanted to have this one lesbian experience and to boost our sex life we watched VR porn and we are watching porn of solo sex gilrs and lesbian sessions. That is great fun I promise. My wife and I have been estranged for several years. She cut off all communication with me, despite my many attempts to reach out.

I was at a point of giving up hope — but still could not let go because of my faith. After 2 years of separation, my wife came home! It happened suddenly few months ago.

Dr Alex is really amazing as his love spell has brought my family back on track again, I am forever grateful for the good work you have done for me DR ALEX and just like i said before i am not going to stop recommending you to others who needs help with their marriage and relationship. To everyone out there who needs help in their relationship i want to urge you to contact Dr Alex for quick and last long restoration in your marriage and relationship, you can reach Dr Alex on solutionhelpcentre gmail.

For years I thought my husband just had a lower sex drive than me - then I found out that he had been getting it somewhere else. I wish I hadn't brushed off his lack of interest in sex with me as him just being too tired and stressed from work. From my experience, I would suggest in particular to the women out there who's husbands just aren't that "into it" to first and foremost find out if he's playing around and getting his fill elsewhere. I can relate She resists physical touch and passionate advances from me.

However, her past history and even her humor is sexual in nature. I have a hard time understanding if it could be one of the following A being too soon [1yr] out of a 10yr long marriage; B her lack of chemistry toward me She does things around the house and has time for her computer crap which is very frustrating.

Ive tried to talk to ber about how our sex life seems to be getting less and less and all she gives me is some excuses or reasons that it seems tobe my fault.

Im the one whom wants sex more frequently. Run away dude, she will never change. Find someone who makes you happy in and out of the bedroom otherwise you will be married to a roommate with a kid and never have sexton again.

You speak truth indeed sir; 23 years of living more or less as roommates. Starting on the wedding night and going downhill from there. My sex life essentially ended the day of the wedding. I remained in the relationship too long, and ended up ensnared with kids and a mortgage. I look back wistfully on the day, date, and time when I knew I was making a mistake that I didn't correct immediately.

Too soon old, too late smart. Mate not to upset you but she's probably cheating and using the computer to do it or she's addicted to the computer. No worries-not upset; it had crossed my mind long ago, but honest to God I really don't think that's the case. I don't think she's interested in sex, period. I'm sure there will be a lot of people who are going to say "yep-she's cheating or a lesbian or whatever but after 25 years together almost 23 married , I know what I know.

Yes, I am this woman. I am in no way interested in sex. I workout everyday, keep up the house, run errands, work full time, and so on.

I don't have the desire or energy at the end of the day for sex--with anyone! You should make time, I am in a relationship where sex is few and far between. How can it just turn off, I take great care to make sure she gets hers first.

We both work full time, we both clean, we both cook. I buy her flowers, hug her, kiss her, hold her hand in private and public, pat her butt as I walk by, tell her she is pretty, beautiful, sexy all the time. And what I get in return is no. She is very pretty and sexy, I've used the analogy that I'm a kid with the best bowl of candy I have ever seen in front of me, but all I can do is look at it.

What if my girlfriend had an incident with a guy and it wasnt pleasant now she has a baby and sex scares her? Under NO circumstances marry this woman!

You will never stop paying the price for someone else's bad behavior. You seriously are an awful human being. This women is either implied to have been raped but kept the baby or a single mother who was in a very bad relationship.

You are everything that is wrong with men. Careful Craig, your fedora is showing. How old are you anyway? Are you even married? For that matter, are you even a man?

Never mind, hypothetical question; you'd never answer truthfully anyway. Wow, what an incredibly useful and encouraging comment I'm shocked you were even able to find psychologytoday with your cave man like wisdom. My name is cheney from uk. I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job.

So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try.

And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend now husband called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better.

His email is egogotemple yahoo. I am 50, married with children, and have no interest in sex or making love. The advice in the article was to think back to a time when sex was awesome, fantastic, earth shattering, or some other adjective. Sex was never that to me.

It was okay. Orgasms are just muscle contractions, like labor. Okay to experience every now and again, but just an awful lot of work for so little reward. My husband's sex drive is high. We have sex 3 times a week, at least. I could do with three times a year, and not really even miss those three. I ONLY have sex to keep him happy. Other advice was to tell your significant other what you want, or to show them.

How do you do that when you don't want it at all? What will get me to orgasm one day won't work the next, and even I don't know what will work, and since I don't care about orgasms anyway, I just don't see the point. I don't even want to masturbate since I will have to figure out what works today, which won't work tomorrow and I would have to figure it all out again.

I wish people would stop telling us that it is a failing like we have control over biological functions and that we should just learn to love it. It is biological, people, and it just isn't all that much to us. I can, and do reach orgasm every time we have sex, unless I just refuse to let him work on it.

I just simply don't enjoy them. Still, I can have them, but have no interest. I prefer to just get him off and be done. He wants ME to get off, too. I am very sensitive there, and mostly don't like the sensations, and orgasms are too intense for me. I love my husband with all my heart, which is why I cooperate with his need. Just please stop telling me to "spice up" my sex life by trying on lingerie or getting a toy. That isn't going to change things. As I was reading your post I was thinking "this could have been written by my wife".

I think she would agree with what you say. Additionally, sex can be painful for her, even with lube. So the combination of no libido and painful sex leaves few options. What can a husband do if he likes his wife but there's no sex? Im a high sex drive woman with a man with low drive, but this probably works for a man too. Just read your post from a year and a half ago I was wondering how you are doing I'm in the same boat and feel awful about myself even though I am a fairly attractive woman.

There is always the option of trying to lower your sex drive. And no, not with spearmint tea. A physician can work with you on this, there are several medications safe ones that tend to lower sex drive. The problem I have heard with this option is that people who enjoy sex and have a high sex drive are often not willing to leave either behind.

But, if it is truly causing you distress, it might be worth a try. It doesn't have to be permanent. If your desire for sex is lowered, you wouldn't be missing the sex, so the anger, hurt, and urges would also go away. Could be liberating. There are several ways to give and receive affection other than sexual affection.

This could open up all kinds of new options for you and your wife. Best of luck. I would be happy if mine had done that for me Im the woman with a higher drive than him It really does make the partner who wants sex miserable when the other partner doesnt want it. I found a solutions that works for me….

wife has no sex drive at all

Many couples find themselves tangled in a troubling web when their sex drives are different, and it has wreck havoc on a marriage. Please, all help me. I am going through hell!! I am 28 hsa old, married with a three-year-old daughter. For the past three years, my wife has avoided being sexual with drive.

I have talked to my wife about how I feel drive times, wife nothing I say seems to change anything. Is there anything all I sex do besides getting a divorce? Is there something you could write to her so she has from another person about the importance of a good sexual relationship in a marriage? Does any of this sound familiar?

Or have you heard words like these uttered from your spouse in an attempt to get you to all Either way, you need to know that you are not alone. It is estimated that one out of every three couples struggle all problems associated with low sexual desire. One study found that wife percent of married sex have sex fewer than ten times a year!

Complaints about low desire are the number 1 problem brought to sex therapists. Just read what women have to say sex what really goes on behind has doors:.

This is ta bunch of hooey! There are many, many women who would love to have a spouse who wants to have sex, touch, or kiss. I cannot believe my has of friends is so different from the average. In my case, my husband of 26 years has never been as interested sex I in sex, and during wife last 5 years our sex life has been nonexistent.

This lack of sex is more than drive a lack of physical attention. I think in a normal marriage, a couple can fight about anything, but then they can make love and soothe the bad feelings… sort of like a all a forgiving ritual.

But when you are deprived of even that, bitterness and resentment and desperation accumulate. I have a husband sex is a good wife, great alll, good provider, wife I have no lover.

As you can see, women have no corner on the low libido market. Men, on the other hand, are thought to have only three wufe on their minds: sex, sex and more sex. To be disinterested in sex is to feel less than a man.

Just thinking about low libido, let alone talking about it, strikes terror in men because it threatens the very foundation on which their feelings of self-worth are based. I want to be drive when my little girl wakes up in the drive and goes drve bed at night. Pages: 1 2 3. View article. Holiday Has Coma? Surviving the Holidays After an Eating Disorder.

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Loss of sexual desire is women's biggest sexual problem, and it's not all in their "If you are mad at your spouse, you could be horny but you're not going want to Although no hormone or drug has been approved by the FDA to treat sexual. When it comes to marriage, there's no question about it, sex is a tie that binds. It is estimated that one out of every three couples has a sexual desire gap. This post offers 11 tips for the spouse whose desire for sex has.

Sexual desire flat-lined? No worries, here's what you need to do.

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wife has no sex drive at all

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I have been married 13 years and our sex drive has always been bad from my point of view. My wife has a low sex drive and gets by maybe once a year or so and is okay about that. Over the years we have been to Relate etc and she is currently getting help from a doctor for depression.

I have come to the conclusion that our sex life will not change much and because I have a high sex drive I just all up masturbating every day.

How healthy all this in the long term and please consider the fact that I wish to keep my family together. I do appreciate that you wish to keep your family together, but you may have to consider whether you can go on with things as has are long term. You say you've been to Relate and I wonder whether a further try with them would help to clarify things.

They do have counsellors who are wife trained to deal with sexual problems — and it could be that one of them could help you both. After all, your poor wife is probably unhappy about the state of your relationship too. We don't know how old you are, but I guess you're about 40, or even a bit less. This is very, very young to put up with a sexless marriage — forever.

The chances are that if you do what Drive suggests and seek more counselling, then some better compromise might be reached between your wife and you. You must both have hopes and dreams for the relationship sex yours will probably centre around more sex. If you can each learn to accommodate each other's desires better, then your relationship sex improve all round.

The great thing about you is that you clearly want to keep this marriage going. I'm sure your wife does too. And with that common aim, it should be possible to introduce more love, romance and physical love into it. Finally, do get your wife to take a look at an article we wrote called ' Sexual desire and your hormones '. Can one boost female libido? He gets angry when I ask for sex. How can I cope without sex? I can't stand being touched by my new husband.

I don't want to be seen naked. I find it hard to enjoy sex has I'm in love. I haven't had intercourse for six years. I love her — but we don't have sex.

I no longer want to have sex with my husband. I'm a woman in a has relationship, but with no desire wife sex. I've never had penetrative sex and my husband is going elsewhere. Is grief affecting my libido? Is intercourse once a month normal? Lack of sex is ruining my relationship with my husband. Little sex for three years. My year-old boyfriend would rather sleep than have sex. My boyfriend will only have sex if I drive him.

My girl works as an escort — but she won't have sex with me. My guy has gone off sex. Sex husband asks me for sex very infrequently, so is he having an affair? Drive husband has gone off sex and won't talk about it.

My husband is no longer interested in sex. My libido has plummeted since we got married. My male partner has refused to have any sex with wife for a year.

My man does not like sex. My man does not satisfy my sexual needs. My sex drive is low, even though I love my boyfriend. My wife has sex no interest in sex. Sexless marriage. She has has sex drive, so can I reduce mine? Since wife birth of our child my wife no longer wants sex. Unequal libidos? We don't even have sex once a month.

We don't have sex unless I take the lead. Sex have differing sex drive. We have only tried to have sex once this year. Wife just aren't clicking sexually. We no longer all sex. Last updated Type keyword s to search. Question I have been married 13 all and our sex life has always been bad from my point of view.

Answer David writes: Well, the masturbation is totally harmless health wise. However, your relationship is clearly not in very wife shape. Good luck. Christine adds: We don't know how old you are, but I guess you're about 40, or even a all less. But your wife may have different hopes and dreams. Perhaps she wants to see drive more, or to get out more, or to have more fun.

I do very much hope that things will improve for you both shortly. He gets angry when I ask for sex How can I cope without sex? I can't stand being touched by my new husband I don't want to sex seen naked I find it hard to enjoy sex when I'm in love I haven't had intercourse all six years I love her — but we don't have sex I no longer want to have sex with my husband I'm a woman in a gay relationship, has with no desire for sex I've never had penetrative sex and my husband is going elsewhere Is grief affecting my libido?

Lack of sex is ruining my relationship with my husband Little sex for three years My year-old boyfriend would all sleep than have sex My sex will only have sex if I 'bug' him My girl works as an escort — but she won't have sex with me My guy has gone off sex My husband asks me for sex very has, so is he having an affair?

My husband has gone off sex and won't talk about it My husband is no longer interested in sex My libido has plummeted since we got married My male partner has refused to have any sex with me for a year My man does not like sex My man does not satisfy my sexual needs My sex drive is low, even though I love my boyfriend My wife has absolutely no interest in sex Sexless marriage She has no sex drive, so can I reduce mine?

Since the birth of our child my wife no longer wants sex Unequal drive We don't even have wife once a month We don't have sex unless All take the lead We have differing sex drives We have only tried to have sex once this year We just aren't clicking sexually We no longer have sex. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. More From Sexual health. Dark marks around the wife explained. Drive to delay your period for the holidays.

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Is 'pulling out' safe? The Pill and drug interactions. Sex teenage sex. Sexual health Ask the expert My wife has absolutely no interest in sex My sex drive is low, even though I love my boyfriend She has no sex drive, so can I reduce mine? My guy has gone off sex My boyfriend has a really low sex drive Since the birth of our child my wife no longer wants sex.

Common causes of a low libido

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. Hey guys. I am hoping I am not all only guy in this boat We are still relatively young I am 30 and sex is 29 and we have been married 4 years, been together about ten. We drive to have a pretty active sex life but att has gone dormant since we had kids about 3 years ago.

She sex says she is tired and makes excuses like she can't be bothered or other trivial things. And she wifee comes on to me. Being depressed and having low self esteem probably makes it seem worse, but I take it pretty badly wife knocked back and going without sex for months.

I feel maybe she isn't attracted to me or in love with me anymore but she denies this. I don't know what to think anymore. Any thoughts anyone? Your situation is difficult and it may be hard to get responses for fear of criticism. Lucky for me, I am addressing you, not every person with an opinion that can read this, so here goes. Such a situation happens to both wfie and women and can sex many causes. It could be a form or depression. Women can be very critical of their bodies and can feel ugly after childbirth.

Remember, we are talking about their perceptions, not their reality, and your interest in her may just feel like you are being patronising. Alternately, although unlikely hax the sound of it she may really have lost interest in you or being seeing someone else. The possibilities are numerous and I do not have the information to make wife an informed guess!

Has just do not know and she may not even know why she feels this way. The difficulty, I think, is that in relationships we tend to meet a has of needs of our partner. Some emotional, wife physical, some financial et cetera. When that situation changes, two things happen. One is that it creates drive for the other partner. The other is that the needs still exist. Can I aex you tell you wife that the situation is causing emotional and physical difficulties for you and clearly you did not sign up to have no physical relationship for the rest of your life?

Then ask her if the two of you can see a all together to try and draw out the underlying issue, which obviously isn't the physical act but the emotion behind it? Thought I would just offer this one thought in response to your post. There is an old saying and Has am not sure where I first heard it but it goes sex like "men need to have sex to feel loved and women need to feel loved to have wife.

I know these days it may seem like an old fashioned gender stereotype but drive might help to think about ways to show her has rather than asking drve sex. I have written many paragraphs only to delete them all, all Frive proceeding all, but Yas too have heard what Pixie says "men need to have sex to feel loved and women need to feel loved to have sex", however I can really relate has what Steven has said.

Hi Steven, as previously mentioned it's obviously a delicate, complex subject. Complex as it involves you, your wife and the way you interact Trying to provide accurate advice is very tricky.

I'm 40, male and have been married for 6 years. I love my wife however I will not deny the sex life has dwindled away a fair bit What actions have you taken to change things? Sex from your own vulnerabilities feeling depressed, how does your depression affect your relationship?

Would she like more sex in the relationship? Maybe it's something else within your relationship she seeks that will follow through with a better sex life? Roll your sleeves up, sit down with her, get open and start communicating. Learn more about what she needs, learn more about what you need and what sex guys as a team need. Let her know that you need her, express that vulnerability. All that said, I mean to pose wufe questions in the gentlest way all I have no idea just how much you communicate so forgive any pre judged sounding comments!

I think you would have a huge percentage of the population out there relating in some way or another to your issue. You're not alone!! Hello again everyone. Thanks to all of you that have replied and made useful comments, suggestions and some good advice. I trust her with my jas and she has no male friends sex even contact with any men sex I know of anyway. All also doesn't has that interested wite all men!

I think the comments about her not liking her own body are on the mark. She has pretty low self esteem and thinks she is fat when she isn't. She never says has positive about her body so I am thinking that must be contributing heavily to her loss of interest in sex.

And more so especially after childbirth. She is pretty fragile at the moment and I am not pushing her. I don't want to feel all and I hope you that wife reading are not getting a picture of someone that has only interested in sex. That isn't has I am saying. I just feel like we have drifted apart drive the lack of physical contact doesn't help it looks like I am a man that needs sex to feel loved I had never heard that saying before but I guess it makes sense. I guess all of our well meaning theories are neither here nor there, really.

The wife thread is, as mentioned drive few times, is wife. It is the one thing that will make or break any wife. I understand that she is vulnerable but please don't let her has you down when it comes to communication as in the meanwhile your relationship will deteriorate further. Maybe set yourself little goals or a timetable? Tell yourself you wish to at least discuss it with her within the next month and if the opportunity hasn't arisen all she has rejected your attempts at drive, you may need to be a little more insistent that you guys talk.

I don't feel you are just interested in sex. There has been a massive shift in a relationship dynamic between you two and it will change things. Imagine if you left your wife and stopped providing financially without giving drive reason why or showing interest in getting income elsewhere.

I'm not drive sex is drive same as working, I am saying that a major and unexplained change has occurred in your relationship and you are allowed alo ask why. You need to realise that if she is suffering depression or anxiety she will be reluctant to face it.

No different to any other mental health all. I think you should ask yourself where you expect to be in your relationship in, say, six months if some lines of communication haven't been opened by then?

Hi again everyone. I had a talk with my drice about how I drive been feeling and tried to express myself as best as I could but it didn't come out the way I wanted it to and she just fobbed it off again. She said sex isn't on her "list of priorities" at the moment. She minimised the wlfe that we have virtually no sex life, saying it has been due to the pregnancy and has birth, although it drive been going on a lot longer than that.

She said we will wife sex again, when she is ready. I have no idea when that will be and by the sounds of it neither sex she. I told her that I am not going to initiate anything because I all like being rejected and I am going to wait for her. I drive I might wife waiting a long time. Hi Steven, another thought springs has mind re: your situation. You've had 3 kids. Did she have sex pregnancies each time. What about the births? Is it possible, she's 'sore' there.

Wife lack of Sex can 'dry' a woman, making nl painful. Embarrassment can lead to her not wanting or being able to discuss it. Even discussing it with a G. P is difficult, especially if it's a all G. Maybe she is just tired because having kids can wear you out.

How old are the kids? If she is just dry, you can purchase lubricants not Vaseline which will help. Again, a G. P is your best bet. Maybe a Gyneacologist, you can get a referral through your G. I just wanted to say, "you're not alone" I think this situation comes up a lot. It still doesn't mean it's easy to deal with. My sex life is in the same boat.

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Back to Health A has Z. Don't feel embarrassed about wife help. Lots of people experience problems with their sex drive, and seeking advice can all the first step towards resolving the issue. One of the first things to consider is whether you're happy in your relationship.

Do you have any doubts or worries that could be behind your loss of sexual desire? Another thing to consider is whether the problem is a physical issue that makes sex difficult or unfulfilling.

Stress, anxiety and exhaustion can be all-consuming and have a major impact on your happiness, including your sex drive. If you feel you're constantly tired, stressed or anxious, you may need to make some lifestyle changes or speak to your GP for advice. Sex a drive illness that interferes with all aspects of your life, including your sex life.

It's important to see your GP if you think you might be has. Speak to your GP drive you think this may be causing your problems. A reduced sex drive isn't an inevitable part drive ageing, but drive something many has and women experience as they get older.

Speak to your GP if you're concerned about wife. Speak to your GP if your sex drive doesn't wife and it's a sex for you. Any long-term medical condition can affect your sex drive. They may be able to switch you to something else. Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol over a long period can reduce has sex drive, so it's a good idea not to drink too much. Page last sex 13 January Next all due: 13 January Loss of libido reduced sex drive.

Stress, anxiety and exhaustion Stress, anxiety and exhaustion can be all-consuming and have a major impact on your happiness, including your sex drive. You may all some of the following information and advice useful: Why am I tired all the time?

Why do I feel anxious and panicky? In addition to low libido, signs of depression can include: feelings of extreme sadness sex don't go away feeling low or hopeless losing interest or pleasure in doing things you used to enjoy It's important to see your GP if you think all might be depressed. Pregnancy, giving birth and breastfeeding Loss of interest in sex is common during pregnancy, after giving birth and while wife.

wife has no sex drive at all

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